-==Coder McKinnan o’ The Cubicles==-
By Solomon Kevin Chang

McKinnan was a coder who had worked a ‘Nine to Five’,
And he started every morning with a grueling hour’s drive.
With coworkers one day he went to fetch some coffee blend,
At a quiet little Starbucks, on which programmers depend.
‘Twas here his people came to lay out web domains they tend.
‘Twas here McKinnan briefly broke his train of thought just when
His eye then spied a bonnie lass, all prettied up and slim,
But his boss stepped in, to stop McKinnan, saying this to him:

[Chorus]
“No lass as she could ever be with nerdy geeks like ye.
Oh, thy lot in life is loneliness as far as I can see.
McKinnan you’re a coder, but a lover not ye be.
Now get back and patch our clients’ PHP.”

And who should come in at that moment? Lo! ‘Tis Fair Folk kin,
A member of the Seelie court on a Latté binge.
McKinnan ‘pproached the fairy with his mortal friends in tow,
For when it came to flirting, ’tis what the Seelie fully know.
The fairy told McKinnan, “Though thy heart is lost of glee,
Be thankful of six figures have ye in your salary.
But matters of the heart, ye shan’t like what I shall say,
But I say this unto you on behalf of all the Fey:

[Chorus]
“No lass as she could ever be with nerdy geeks like ye.
Oh, thy lot in life is loneliness, and that’s the way it be.
McKinnan you’re a coder, but a lover not ye be,
For romance is not a struct you write in C.”

McKinnan sat in silence, stunned, and wept with lip a-furled,
“How dare you call this ‘wisdom’, Fairy Fey not of this world!
Oh I defy thy damned decree until my dying day;
The Little Folk and coffee never mixed well anyway!”
Turning to his coworkers, he asked, “What say of ye?”
In one voice of unison, they answered somberly,
“McKinnan, when ye chose careers, ye also chose yer fate,
As is true of every coder, ye are doomed to never date!”

[Chorus]
“No lass as she could ever be with nerdy geeks like ye.
Oh, thy lot in life is loneliness, ‘cept maybe D&D.
McKinnan you’re a coder, but a lover not ye be,
Even if you can afford a PS/3.”

McKinnan stirred his cappuccino, then he took a sip.
Turning to the others, he said, “You’re all full of it!”
Gathering up his courage, he approached the lass so fair.
Whereas she struck him down with icy words atop an icy stare:

[Chorus]
“A man like ye could never be with women such as me.
Oh, thy lot in life is loneliness, which you refuse to see.
McKinnan you’re a coder, but a lover not ye be,
If you try to make a living in IT.”